This parable from Jesus includes a master’s validation of his servants efforts – and leads to mutual joy for both master and servant. That joy is equated to God’s desire to share His joy with us! But validation is not limited to our service. Validation of our emotions is another very powerful experience. Today’s material reminds us of the power of validation.

Validation requires accuracy about the size of our reaction and not agreement about the cause. We must always validate the actual size of our reactions and not try to resize our emotions into what we wish they were. Validation gets the size right. Now the executive control center can take over and handle this event relationally in the way that rhymes with how God sees me.
~ pages 40-41, Joyful Journey, Wilder, Kang, Loppnow, Loppnow

Session A: We continue revisiting joyful memories recorded on your Golden Moments list. Look for God’s presence in the joys. Invite Him to share thoughts about joys you’re recalling. Again, notice body sensations, attitudes, heart rate, etc.

Here is a second quote about validation. Just as God knew the situation with the people of Nehemiah’s day, He knows what’s up with us too. They grieved because of personal and corporate failures in the eyes of God. But God’s grace won the day then – and still does now.

[From Synchronizing our brain with God, Step three] We minimize our apparently minor trials, compared to the perceived bigger challenges of others. We do this to ourselves and to others. God however sees, hears, knows and understands why a particular issue is so big for us. God knows our history. No matter how insightful a therapist may be or wise a friend is, only God can ultimately know the intricacies of our lives and experiences. His eyes never leave us, and He knows us better than we know ourselves. Validation moves mental experiences toward resolution by accurately stating their “size,” that is to say, intensity and impact. Without validation, we will not be comforted. Comfort follows validation and gives us peace.
~ page 40, Joyful Journey, Wilder, Kang, Loppnow, Loppnow

Session B: Thought Rhyming as Immanuel Journaling:
Take one or two of your joys from today (or your list) and envision God responding with one or two sentence “thoughts” in the following areas: I see, hear you, understand you, am glad to be with you, and can do something about your situation.

Joy helps you endure hardship well. Joy gives us the strength to deal with emotional pain. The idea of living with joy doesn’t mean that we don’t suffer or feel emotional pain. It doesn’t even mean that we get past our emotional pain quickly. It means that despite the emotional pain we have we can still find relational joy in the midst of the hard stuff. For example, joy-filled people still grieve when they lose a loved one. The point is not that joy makes them immune to bad feelings. The point is that even in the midst of the upsetting emotion they can share joy with others and that joy helps them get through the hard times.
10,~ page 11, The 4 Habits, Warner, Coursey

One final piece on validation. This is great when helping other navigate emotional challenges.

Here is a simple thought strategy that can help you tell yourself the truth as you quiet upsetting emotions.

We call it VCR – Validate, Comfort, Recover.

Validate: Tell yourself the truth about how youare feeling. Give it a name. Identify how big it is.
Comfort: Tell yourself the truth about how to Handle your emotion and ask. “What do I need when I feel this way?”
Recover: This is not so much a step in the process as a sign that the process has worked. I no longer feel overwhelmed but can remain relational and act like myself despite how I feel.
57-~ page 58, The 4 Habits, Warner, Coursey